On Her Own
by NuttyElla
Summary: He's gone, obviously. So what happens when Jude's left to deal with things by herself? And how long will she be alone to deal with life?
1. Prologue

**A/N**: So, it appears that I'm back, but hopefully with a story I'll be able to finish this time. Please cross your fingers for me, because I think this one will actually get done. It starts off slow, but please give it a chance, it will pick up. The chapters might seem kind of short, but updates will be more frequent so I hope that makes up for it. The title is from the song "On My Own" by The Used, which I have recently become obsessed with. Check it out if you want--it's worth it, in my opinion. I'll shut up now and post the first couple things I have written and hopefully get this story rolling.

**Rating** is, um, probably **T** or **M** for language and certain situations. Not really sure what it'll be, but I'll make the necessary adjustments later if needed.

**Disclaimer**: Duh.

Now, on with the story! Oh, the prologue is kind of weird, it's mostly to just help you understand how Jude's feeling at this point, etc. Don't hesitate to tell me it makes no sense at all. Please excuse any errors because I don't use a beta. I hope you like it!

xx

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**Prologue**

In the world's eyes, she had it all.

Money. Fame. Talent. Music. Beauty.

She was the new _it_ girl. It was just like the song from her second album.

_I know how this all must look  
Like a picture ripped from a story book  
I've got it easy  
I've got it made_

_I've got a golden road laid out before me  
And everyone how they adore  
Like a diamond  
In the sun_

Of course, the rest of the song was actually trying to prove the opposite point, that perfect wasn't at all what people thought.

_Perfect._

How she hated that word. It was what everyone strove to achieve in their lives. Perfect job, perfect spouse, perfect car, perfect house, perfect kids, perfect life, perfect world.

But no one, in the entire history of the world, has ever figured out how to reach something that doesn't exist. And yet, even after centuries of failure, people continued to grasp at this unattainable goal.

Why?

If she knew that, then she wouldn't be in the position she was in today.

She was young, blonde, and number one on the music charts.

Life should be great for her right now. And to everyone else, it was. Only she knew what her life was really like, and she intended to keep it that way.

She'd been in the music industry for a few years now and had quickly discovered the most common characteristic that industry people possessed: they were all damn good actors and actresses.

To make it, you pretty much had to be. The first year after winning Instant Star was chaos for her. She literally wore her heart on her sleeve, and it was repeatedly smashed by anyone and everyone. If you looked back during the time she had red hair, you would recall the numerous times she cried, threw tantrums, and basically acted like the naive child she was.

However, after her first tour and a bottle of Beach Blonde, she had managed to pull herself together. No more outbursts of hers were caught on camera and plastered across the cover of _People_. It didn't mean she didn't want to have them, she just learned to keep herself in check. When it came to fame, emotions were your number one weakness. So, to minimize the inevitable damage, she hid them. And she hid them well.

Those few years of practice had helped her get to where she was right now.

Beautiful, rich, famous...

And alone.

You see, _he_ had made everything bearable. He was the one who helped her through everything, who taught her the best way to get on the inside. He didn't make her feel so alone.

Of course, he had his asinine moments. Many of them, actually. But they always managed to get over them. She never expected that he just wouldn't be there one day.

How naive she was for putting anything past him.

So here she was, standing with her cell phone resting in her hand. Twenty-four hours ago, she had skipped her release party, gotten smashed, then had a stranger take pictures of her while she was laying drunk on a bed in Mason's hotel room. Oh, yeah, she may have been wasted off her ass, but she still remembered that those flashes could only come from one thing, something she was accustomed to by now. The morning after that, she learned that she finally had hit number one on the charts.

And it felt damn good.

But only for a minute.

Because then reality came crashing back down.

That morning she also learned of the tour she would soon be leaving on. It wasn't huge, but it was bigger than her last one. At least she wasn't an opening act for someone else. There was no offer from Shay this time, thank goodness.

She slowly began dialing the way too familiar numbers.

With one left, she paused, her finger hovering over the key of the last digit that would connect her to his phone.

One deep breath later, and there was ringing in her ear as she waited.

For what, she wasn't really sure.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Click.

Voicemail.

Last night, she had been so tempted to call and leave him about 300 messages conveying her complete and utter anger and hatred towards him. She supposed it was a good thing she was too plastered to hit the right numbers, let alone think of using speed-dial or scrolling through her contacts list to get his number.

As his recorded voice played in her ear, she thought about what she should do.

_"Hey, it's Tommy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can."_

Hang up? Call again later? Leave a message?

As the tone sounded, indicating that it was recording, she decided what she would do.

_"Hey, Tommy, it's me."_ Pause._ "You have no idea how badly I want to scream at you right now, but I know it won't do any good. So, I'll try and make this quick. Do you remember the night we recorded the bootleg at my place, and after it was all done, we talked out on the balcony? Well, I'm just trying to figure out how you're going to knock down a door that you shut and locked in the first place."_

She snapped her phone shut as tears stung the back of her eyes. Quickly she squeezed them together and took a deep breath, banishing the salty droplets of hurt, anger, and pain for another time. He didn't deserve anyone's tears, especially not hers.

Shoving her phone into her back pocket, she walked back into G-Major and got on with her 'perfect' life.

If only the world realized that Jude Harrison's life was anything _but_ perfect.

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A/N**: So, what do we think so far? Likey, hatey, what? 


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Mature language ahead, in this chapter and probably all of the ones after. You've been warned. Special thanks to my first two reviewers, **SaraLyleth** and **angel422**. I love and appreciate hearing what you guys think, so muchas gracias!

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**Chapter 1**

Walking into G-Major, Jude dreaded the beginning of another monotonous day. She didn't even know why she was there. Her sophomore album release party was three days ago and it was way too soon for her to begin working on her third album. And yet she still showed up every day, another obedient slave of Darius.

Jude winked at her sister sitting behind the receptionist's desk. Sadie was looking completely hassled, as usual, more than likely because of Liam. Jude didn't think it was possible to encounter someone worse than Darius. Now she knew better.

Opening the door to Studio B, Jude found Kwest, her new producer, already sitting in his chair next to the soundboard.

"Morning, Kwest."

"Good morning, rockstar." He nodded towards a brown envelope sitting on the table. "That came for you."

She peered at the envelope from across the room as she walked towards it. The only thing written on it was "JUDE HARRISON" in big, black block letters. Shooting a raised eyebrow at Kwest, he simply shrugged in reply and returned back to whatever he was working on.

With a sigh, Jude plopped down in her chair and dragged a pen through the seal of the large envelope to open it. Reaching inside, she gripped a glossy surface and pulled out a stack of photographs. A yellow piece of legal paper fluttered onto her lap.

Glancing at the first photo, she realized with a shock that it was of _her_. As Jude flipped through the rest of them, she recognized them from the night of her release party, when she got drunk with that random guy at Mason's concert.

Tired and disgusted of looking at her incapacitated self, Jude moved her attention to the yellow note. She wasn't surprised at all by what it said. She knew the photos were coming, it was just a question of where, when, and how much.

_**$50,000**_

_**Or these go to the press.**_

Great. Just _great_. Still, it could be worse. Fifty grand wasn't too bad, right? Except for the fact that she didn't have that much. Well, she did, but she couldn't access it until she turned 18. And that was still quite a way away.

"Shit," she muttered.

Kwest glanced up and looked her way. "What?"

Realizing that he was also in the room, Jude quickly tried to cover up her error. "Oh, nothing, I think I just forgot to turn off the coffee pot this morning at my house."

Did he buy it?

"You and your caffeine addiction," Kwest joked as he shook his head at her.

Phew, that was a close one.

For once, she was incredibly glad that Kwest was her producer. He wasn't nosy and didn't pry into her business. If Tommy had been there, he would've wanted to know what was in the envelope, and there was no way she could let _anyone_ know about these pictures. Ever.

So, the ominous question was: What do you do when you're being blackmailed?


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N**: I'm amazed at the responses I've gotten already! I adore you guys, and your reviews--they seriously make my day. I'm trying to stay semi-true to the characters' personalities, so I thought Jude's reaction to the envelope and Kwest's indifference might help with that. Thanks for everyone who hit that pretty purple button at the bottom, and to anyone who's just reading. Some more mature language begins in this chapter and will probably be present throughout the rest of the story, so you've been warned. Unless, of course, you don't bother to read author's notes. If you don't, you really should, they can be extremely help things. Alright, lots of love to everyone and I hope you like this chapter! One or two more should be up today.

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**Chapter 2**

After a very unproductive and pointless morning, Jude took off for home at lunchtime with no intention of coming back.

She unlocked the front door of her empty house and tossed her keys on a small table near the entryway. After a quick detour to the kitchen for some ketchup, Jude dumped herself on the couch in the living room and bit into her double cheeseburger with no pickle. There was nothing on TV but soaps, which she never watched, so Jude settled on an XM music channel. Gotta love satellite. There were at least fifty different channels that were actually radio stations, but with practically no commercials or annoying radio hosts.

Quickly polishing off her burger, Jude dug into her fries. It was nice having a car, and a license. She could go to McDonald's whenever she felt like it and didn't have to beg Sadie or Jamie or someone else to take her. Unfortunately, by the time she had the option of McDonald's every day, it'd lost its appeal. But some days, nothing in the world tasted better than a greasy double cheeseburger and really salty fries.

Obviously, this was one of those days.

Eventually Jude finished her lunch in her very lonesome house and disposed of all the trash from the food. With a final slurp of her Coke, she tossed that in the garbage can as well. Now what?

Just as Jude was contemplating calling Mason to see how the rest of his tour was going, her phone rang.

Did she and Mason have ESP? Or could it be _him_, finally returning her call after the single voicemail she left him?

Flipping open her phone, Jude realized it was neither of the two guys unless they were calling from a different phone, which she doubted.

A shiver ran down Jude's spine as she hit 'Answer' to find out who was behind the unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Finally sober again, now, are we?" a muffled voice taunted.

Shit. She knew that voice. If only she could remember the name, or something.

"What do you want?" Jude asked, hoping her voice came off as calm and strong.

"I take it you received my little 'gift' this morning?"

She unintentionally released a sigh. "Yeah."

"Doesn't sound as though you liked it much, Jude." he laughed.

"I wonder why?" the sarcasm spewed from her mouth. Blackmailing her was one thing, but then he had to go and laugh about it to her face? This was one stupid kid.

"Ah, ah, ah, Miss Harrison, now is not the time to get snippy with me. Someone's in a sour mood, PMS maybe?"

Jude was trying her best to send death rays through the phone. It didn't work, because he continued to talk.

"I guess I'll get to the point. Meet me at Lakeside Park in an hour, near the jungle gym. Don't bring anyone. Don't tell anyone where you're going. Basically, don't do anything stupid, because if I don't give a friend a phone call at a specific time telling him exactly what he expects to hear from me, he's going to sell those _lovely_ photos of you to the highest bidder. Understood?"

She had to clench her teeth to prevent herself from doing something she'd regret. "Yeah. I'll be there."

_Click._

"Bastard."


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Erin McKinley, you make me laugh! I love hearing everyone's thoughts, and I'm glad you all like the way I've been portraying the characters in my story. You guys rock! So, without further ado, here is Chapter 3. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 3**

Jude slowly walked toward the playground in the park, trying to look like she was just enjoying a leisurely walk. As she neared the jungle gym, she noticed a guy in a hoodie, looking slightly uncomfortable. He could've been uncomfortable because it was 85 degrees Fahrenheit (or 30C for the true Canadians)outside and he was wearing a sweatshirt, but Jude didn't think that explained all of it. Instinctively, she knew this was her blackmailer and walked over to him.

He looked up as she approached. "Good afternoon, my little alcoholic."

Jude looked ready to puke up that double cheeseburger from her lunch. "Look, can we just get this over with?"

A slight smile played at the corner of his mouth, and he offered her his arm as he turned to walk down a path that led through a small woods. She didn't take it, but reluctantly fell into step beside him instead.

Neither spoke for a minute, and Jude had no clue how these things worked so she finally broke the silence. "Look, I don't have the money."

They continued walking for a few more steps until he replied, "Well, then, I guess that's just too bad for you. I hope you enjoy waking up tomorrow to find yourself on the cover of every tabloid known to man."

Jude stopped in her tracks and grabbed the guy's arm, halting his progression as well. "You can't do that."

"On the contrary, I think I can." He shrugged off Jude's hand and kept walking. She stood rooted to the spot, trying to restrain herself from just screaming her head off. It was times like these when she wished she knew some kind of martial arts so she could go kick this guy's ass. Maybe she should try and get in touch with Chuck Norris or Jackie Chan, maybe even Steven Segal.

With a new resolve, Jude quickly raced to catch up with him.

"I told you, I don't have the money. Well, I do, but I can't get it until I turn 18 and that's still several months away. What do you expect me to do?"

Another one of his annoying shrugs. "You're creative; you'll think of something."

"I don't believe this!" Jude muttered under her breath. How did she manage to get herself into these situations?

He didn't appear to have heard her, and they kept walking. "I can get you the money, but not until I turn 18, like I said. Are you willing to wait that long?"

He turned his head to look at her and flashed a big smile. "Nope."

"Ugh!" Jude screeched while she stomped her foot. Why was this guy determined to make her life so miserable? Wasn't it enough of hell already?

Saying she was frustrated was an understatement, but Jude was also determined. They continued their little stroll while Jude frantically searched for a way out of this. As they neared the end of the path, he spoke again, and it seemed as though their meeting was at its end.

"Well, Jude, it--"

"Wait..." she interrupted. A sudden thought occurred to her and she asked, "Hey, what's your name?"

He let out a real laugh now, not just a chuckle. "You don't remember?"

Jude furrowed her brow for a second, but then her anger took over. "If I did, I wouldn't be asking, now would I?"

He smiled at her. She glared at him.  
"Brandon." An arrogant glint entered his eyes that Jude knew only too well. "Remember it--you'll probably be screaming it later."

Jude rolled her eyes, knowing there was a fat chance in hell of that ever happening. She was used to those comments from guys, especially one that unoriginal, so it didn't disturb her in the least.

"Ok, _Brandon_, you know I don't have the money. But I have another offer that you might be interested in..."

"I'm listening."

They made their way over to a bench on the edge of the path, and Jude explained her idea, praying it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass.

But with her luck, it probably would.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N**: So, it's been a couple days, and I'm majorly sorry. Life just got in the way, I guess. Anyway, here's Chapter 4, it's kind of a filler.

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**Chapter 4**

Bags were packed, equipment loaded, and bunks claimed. It was seven in the morning, and Jude Harrison had not had any coffee yet.

The last compartment was shut and the lock was secured. Everyone just kind of stood around now, preparing themselves for whatever came next. What came next was the good-byes.

For Jude's second tour, she was leaving from G-Major on a bus with the boys instead of flying from an airport. She wasn't sure if she could survive another three months with Speed, Wally, Kyle, and empty calories, but it looks like she didn't have a choice.

There weren't that many people there to see them off, probably because of the ungodly time they were scheduled to leave. Some family members, friends, and staff from G-Major were there. Hugs and farewells were passed around, and before Jude knew it, they were off.

The guys sat in the front, already planning this tour's round of pranks. Jude retreated to her bunk in the back of her bus. She managed to get the one with the best view out of a window, although not without the expected grumbling and complaining from Speed. She laid herself down on the small space, and let her mind wander.

The question was whether it'd ever come back. Or better yet, come back alive.

Jude thought she had known loneliness in the past. How she wished to go back to that time when she was so green, so clueless, so innocent. The first thing you lost in the music industry was your innocence, if you even had it at the beginning, that is.

And no, she didn't mean her virginity. That was for a whole other day. She was seventeen; there would be plenty of time for that later when she found the right guy.

Jude thought of all the people in her life, their history together, where she stood with them, what might happen with them in the future. None of her thoughts were very appealing or encouraging.

Her mom, Victoria, was still MIA with Don on their honeymoon. Jude had never seen it coming. First, that her mom would even date her divorce lawyer in the first place, and then marry him? Jude wasn't broken up by the fact that her mom and Don had gotten married; no, what tore her up inside was that they had done it **without** her. Without her and Sadie. Without her daughters. Who does that?

Sadie was, well, Sadie. Self-absorbed. Not that Jude minded, though. Sadie just concentrated on Sadie, with the occasional empathic action for someone else. Currently, she was working as the receptionist at G-Majors while taking night classes at a local college. Add into that mix a budding romance with Kwest, and Sadie just didn't have time for anything, or anyone, else. Why did she always end up dating Jude's producers, though? It was just another mystery that would never be solved.

Jude's dad worked. It seemed that was all he did. And she understood why, really, she did. First, he obviously had to pay the bills somehow. Without Victoria's added income, too, it was getting harder for Stuart to keep their house. It was still kind of inconceivable to Jude that her mom had sold it in the first place, though. Even though Jude had forgiven her father for cheating on her mother, things weren't the same between them anymore. They never would be. His cheating was forgiven, yes, but it would always be there, an invisible barrier that they tried to ignore.

Thankfully, Jamie and Jude had repaired the rift in their friendship. But, like with her dad, there was still a scar. She wished they could go back to the way things were before she won the Instant Star competition. Life was so simple back then. But things changed. Jamie had Patsy now, and in some weird, twisted way, they worked. Jude was happy for them, but she couldn't helped but be a tiny bit jealous that she wasn't the number one woman in his life anymore.

Things between her and Kat were the same as they had been for a while now. Jude hated to admit it, but she thought that her and Kat would never be able to reconcile. At least, not in this decade, or maybe after. She missed Kat, though. It'd been a while since she'd had a close female friend.

Mason was sort of Jude's replacement friend. He was part Jamie, part Kat, and part Mason. Without him, Jude had no clue what she would've done the last couple months. They still weren't as tight as Shay's latest corn-rows, but hopefully they'd get there one day. For now, he was still on tour but would be done in about two weeks. Of course, now she was leaving for her tour. Timing was just not in her favor.

SME was still her band, but not for long. People finally began recognizing them separate from Jude Harrison, and they were getting close to signing their own recording contract away from her. She wasn't offended or upset; they deserved the same chance she had gotten. Still, she would miss their antics on tours. The guys in SME could never fail to put a smile on her face. But, they weren't prime candidates when you needed to have a heart to heart.

So who did that leave? Ah, yes, the runaway. Tommy. Well, what was there for her to say about him? He left in the worst way possible. And while she could probably forgive him for leaving if he had a valid reason, there was one factor that was unforgivable.

He had left her _alone_.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N**: So, I was trying to update this story and I realized that this chapter just disappeared in my document manager. I kept trying to figure out what was wrong, and then I finally did. I'll probably post two more tonight to catch up with another site I have this posted on. I'm glad everyone's enjoying it so far! As for a couple of questions that were asked, all I'm going to say is to wait patiently. Everything will be explained...eventually. As for Tommy, he is in this story, I'm just not going to tell you when. That way, you'll just have to keep reading and leaving reviews asking me when Tommy's going to show up. :P But never fear, he WILL show up. Trust me, I know these things. Lots of love to everyone who's been reviewing! Without you guys, this story would be pointless.

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**Chapter 5**

"Hey, Jude," he winked, "welcome back."

Jude flung herself from the bus into Mason's arms, not wanting to let go. Finally, a sane person that wasn't obsessed with silly string, whoopee cushions, trick gum, squirt guns, and every other thing that Speed, Wally, and Kyle had in their possession.

"Jude, I need air," Mason pretended to choke.

She finally released him, but not before swiping his cowboy hat and dancing a few steps away with it, waving it around.

"I always wanted one of these."

"Then go buy your own, Jude, that one's mine!" Mason shouted as he took off after her around the parking lot.

He chased her around for a few minutes before the guys from SME realized that they were unloading the bus by themselves. Then they joined Mason in chasing Jude and it wasn't long before the four of them overpowered her and Mason triumphantly placed his hat back in its rightful place on his head.

Liam soon came outside and forced everyone to get back to work without so much as a "Welcome back" to Jude, Wally, Kyle, or Speed. Obviously **someone** wasn't getting any at home.

After everything was unpacked from the bus, Jude and SME got ready to go home and catch up on many lost hours of sleep. Just as Jude was about to escape to freedom in her car, Speed yelled at her that Darius wanted to see her ASAP.

"Damn," she muttered as she got out of her car and walked through the doors.

Reaching his office, Jude tentatively knocked and called out, "Darius?"

"Come in!" he boomed through the doors. No matter what he was saying or who he was saying it to, Darius was always loud and you always listened to him, unless you didn't value your health.

Jude opened the door to find Darius sitting behind his desk, as usual, going through some paperwork.

"Welcome back, kiddo. You did good. Your merchandise sales were off the charts, as were your album sales. I'm glad to find that your sophomore album isn't following the path of your first."

"Um, thanks, I guess. Is that all you wanted to tell me? Because I'd really like to get home and get some sleep before I pass out behind the wheel," Jude rambled, anxious to just go home where her nice, comfy bed and a clean bathroom were waiting.

"Slow down, tiger," Darius chuckled. "I called you in here because I believe you've earned a much-needed break. Take the next two weeks off, and then we'll get started on your third album. Ok? Now get out of here!"

Jude couldn't do anything other than smile before rushing from his office back to her car. She started up the engine and drove to her house, soaking in all the familiar sites that she'd missed the past three months.

Unlocking her front door, found that her house was, once again, completely empty.

"Another fantastic homecoming," she said to herself. But, to be honest, she didn't really mind that no one was here to greet her, because now she could sleep in peace.

Jude hadn't even bothered to get her bags from her car; there'd be time for that later. She bounded up the stairs to her room, desperate to be in her own domain and her own bed again.

She flopped down on the unmade bed--just as she had left it. While reveling in the familiar and comforting feel of her pillows and blankets, a sudden thought occurred to Jude.

There went her happiness at being home, and her chance to sleep at the moment.

Reaching into her pocket, Jude removed her cell phone, flipped it open, and began scrolling through her list of contacts. Finally finding the one she wanted, Jude hit 'send' and waited for the other person to pick up. They finally did on the third ring.

"I'm back..."


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N**: Everything will make sense, I promise. Give it time. Until then, count to ten, take deep breaths, and think about Tommy shirtless. Here's number six--I hope you enjoy! Don't forget about that pretty little purple box at the bottom, either!**

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**Chapter 6**

"I hate school..." Jude muttered to no one in particular as she walked into G-Major after her two week absence. The time Darius gave Jude off wasn't exactly a vacation for her since she had to start school two days after she got back from her tour.

Still, she was glad to be back at the studio and to begin settling into a new routine. After sharing a quick greeting with Sadie, Jude dumped her bag behind the receptionist's desk and made her way back towards the studios, figuring Kwest would be waiting for her so they could begin her third album.

The sound of laughter distracted Jude and she headed towards the source, which turned out to be Studio A. The door was open, so Jude just stuck her head in to find Mason and a girl Jude didn't recognize clutching their stomachs, trying to recover from a bout of laughter.

"Um, am I interrupting something?" Jude asked, trying to figure out who this new girl was.

Mason was the first to look up. "Oh, Jude, hi, I'm glad you're back. And no, you're not interrupting anything, just a good discussion Karma and I were having about, um, something." His eyes locked with the strange girl's and smiles spread across their faces as another fit of laughter threatened to erupt.

Jude just looked back and forth between the two, clearly confused.

Mason finally noticed Jude's face. "You don't know, do you? Oh, well, Jude, this is Karma Reed, the newest Instant Star. Karma, Jude Harrison, the original Instant Star."

The girls' gazes locked from across the room, and Jude was unnerved at the...arrogance she found in Karma's eyes, like she already felt she was superior to Jude. Neither of them moved to shake hands or anything. Jude finally decided to be the better person.

"Hi." Yep, that was really tough to say. It takes a big person to say one little monosyllabic word.

"Hi," Karma replied, clearly not interested in anything Jude might have to say.

"Well, um, I'll just let you two get back to whatever you were, uh, talking about."

Mason shrugged and said, "Later, Harrison," while Karma didn't acknowledge her departure at all. Before she was even completely gone from the room, Mason and Karma were engrossed in their conversation again and Jude Harrison was completely forgotten.

She walked out.

Well, that was that, she supposed. Her true replacement was finally here, and Karma seemed to know that she was exactly that: Jude's replacement.

She finally reached Studio B and walked in to find Kwest already there, just like she expected.

He looked up as she entered. "Hey. How was your tour?"

"Good, it was good," Jude replied, most of her attention still focused on what had just happened a few moments ago.

Noticing the odd look on her face, Kwest asked, "You ok, Harrison?"

She smiled, covering up perfectly. "Yep, I'm fine. Ready to get started?"

Kwest nodded, and so began Jude Harrison's third album.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: **All I'm going to say is that you don't really need to worry about Karma in this story, and I'm sorry this chapter's kind of short. I'll put up a couple more today to help make up for it. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 7**

"So, Jude, when were you going to tell us about this?" Darius inquired, and not in a very nice tone, as he tossed a tabloid at Jude. It landed with a smack on the end of his desk, but Jude didn't need to look at the cover to know what he was talking about.

"I didn't know I was supposed to report every detail of my personal life to you, Darius. I thought it was supposed to be just that--_personal_, as in, my business, not yours."

Darius narrowed his eyes. "Remember just who it is your speaking to here, Jude. With a snap of my fingers you can be gone from this company and the world will be like, 'Jude who?'"

She mentally rolled her eyes. Darius and his threats, like always. He wouldn't act on them, especially not when she was the artist bringing in the most dough. Sometimes, Jude just got really tired of the whole 'tough guy' act every single guy on the planet portrayed. Hint: it gets old, really fast.

"Sorry," Jude mumbled, although both of them knew she didn't mean it.

"So, who is this guy? How'd you meet?"

Jude sighed. "We met at the finale show of my tour, here in Toronto. We hit it off and kept in touch while I was away. Then I came back home, and we decided to start seeing each other. Sorry, D, nothing extreme or out of the ordinary about it."

"It's fine, just give the studio a heads up when you start seeing a new guy so we actually know what to say when we start getting calls about who your new boy toy is. It doesn't look good when the paparazzi know more about who you're seeing than our own PR people."

"Yeah, I know, Darius, and I'm sorry. It's just really new and I don't know how long it'll last so I didn't want to make a big deal about it." This time she was semi-sincere with her apology, but there was so much more to this story than anyone knew. And she planned to keep it that way.

Darius actually smiled at her response. "Jude, you have two multi-platinum albums, two successful tours, and one award under your belt and some more most likely on the way. You've had three number one songs in the past six months. Blondie, you've finally made the big time. You're officially a celebrity, and that means that everyone is watching you and wanting to know what you're doing. You won't be able to buy hair spray without someone catching it on camera, let alone traipse around the city holding hands with a guy."

Darius walked around his desk so he was standing in front of a somber looking Jude. He gently tugged on one of her blonde curls before shooing her towards the door. "Go home, Jude. Get some rest, write a song, or better yet, call up your boy toy and get some gossip going about you two." And with a playful wink, she was out the door, trying to figure out just what exactly she was going to do.

With a sigh, Jude ran her fingers through her hair before leaving G-Major. It was only a matter of time before she cracked. But for now, duct tape seemed to be doing its job and holding her together.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"I don't like him."

Jude glanced up from the lyrics she was scribbling in her notebook to throw a questioning glance in Jamie's direction.

"Who?"

"That guy, Brady, Braden--" She cut him off.

"You mean Brandon?"

"Yeah." Jamie confirmed with a frown.

"My boyfriend Brandon?" As much as it pained her to say that word, Jude had to keep up appearances.

"Yeah, who else do we know by that name?"

Jude shrugged. You never knew when it came to Jamie. "Well, why don't you tell me just what exactly it is you don't like about him. I'll be sure to pass the information along." Jamie shot her a look. "Or not. You know, either way works."

Jamie shrugged. "I don't know, something just seems...off about him, like he's not who he seems. Do you get what I mean?"

Oh, yeah, she definitely knew what he meant. She'd have to be more careful around Jamie from now on; he was starting to catch on that something wasn't right in her 'relationship' with Brandon.

"Um, not really. He's just Brandon to me, you know?" Jude hoped Jamie would buy it. She was just not in the mood to come up with a bunch of lies to keep her friend distracted.

"Yeah, sure." Jamie shot Jude a funny look, but she carefully kept her face blank. He finally gave up and returned his face to the computer screen.

She inwardly released a sigh of relief, thankful that Jamie had dropped the subject.

Jude was tired. So goddamn tired. This..._thing_ she was hiding from everything just drained the life out of her. Pretending and faking it took up so much of her energy that she was surprised she hadn't collapsed in the sound booth while recording a song yet. Every morning Jude repeated the same thing to herself in the mirror. _Just a little longer, hold on for just a little longer.._ The end was closer than ever before, but it still felt millions of miles away. But she was Jude Harrison, and she was not going to back down from an offer she had initiated in the first place.

Her junior album was right around halfway done, and even she had to say that it was kick ass. It turned out that she didn't need Tommy to make killer music. Maybe, she was even better off without him. Kwest was actually a really good producer, and after a few more years' experience, he could probably rival Tommy. Wow, it'd been a while since she'd thought about _him_. Of course there was the occasional fleeting thought of him, like when she saw a shirt or other car that was the same electric blue as his Viper. She really missed that car. And the Hummer(s). And the Cobra. And his motorcycle. Face it: she missed him. But the only person she admitted that to was herself. And even then it was only sometimes.

Things were fucked up. Yes, indeed, they were. The one that stuck out the most in her mind--okay, sec...wait, _third_ most in her mind--was Mason. Jude thought that once she got home from tour, they'd grow even closer and he'd become her new rock. Wrong. By the time Jude got back, Karma had already sunk her claws in Mason, and he was a complete goner. So, Jude's one last ray of hope that wasn't completely alone went out.

Fucked up was the normal state of Jude's life. And she knew there was nothing you could do except wait it out.

---------

The phone rang and Kwest grumbled incoherently, looking at the clock. It read 2:03 am. Only one person would be calling him at this time.

"Hello?"

"Who is he? Did they really meet on tour? What do you know about him?"

"Gee, thanks for the 'Hey, how are you?' I don't know, I don't know, and I don't know, ok? She doesn't open up to me like she used to for you. She's changed, man."

A sigh could be heard on the other end of the line.

"How is she?"

Kwest shook his head, even though he knew Tommy couldn't see it. "That's a real good question, Tom. No one really knows. Jude is kind of closed off now. A lot of things have happened since you've been gone. And if you truly want to know how she's doing, you should give her a call and talk to her yourself. Then again, I wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to you again."

"Don't say that Kwest, please. I just...can't."

"Can't, or won't?"

"It doesn't matter. Either way, I'm not going to call her. Would she even answer the phone? What would I even say to her?"

"I have a feeling that Jude actually would answer the phone if you called, and as for what to say, why not just tell her the truth?"

"Look, man, I got to go. Just...keep me updated on her, would you?"

Kwest shook his head once again, knowing that his friend was just avoiding the thing that he needed to do most. "Yeah, sure Tom. I'll spy on her for you. Night."

"Good night, and thanks, Kwest. You really are the best friend I've ever had."

Before Kwest could respond, Tommy hung up. As Kwest replaced his own receiver in its cradle, he wondered if the day would ever come when his friend would change and have the guts to call Jude. Unfortunately, he doubt it ever would.

* * *

**A/N**: Wow, I wonder what that button at the bottom left of the screen does? Why don't you hit it and find out for me? I would definitely appreciate it! 


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